Welcome back to my kitchen!
Two weeks ago, I had a last-minute urge. As a child, I gobbled up my mom’s peanut butter bars. You know the simple recipe: graham crackers, powered sugar, peanut butter topped with melted chocolate chips. They are easy and fantastic. I’d eat the whole pan as a kid, sneaking into the fridge and cutting a sliver here and a sliver there.
For over six months, I’ve stayed clear of peanut butter but have snacked on peanuts. If you read the popular one’s labels, a serving of peanut butter is loaded with carbs. Almost enough for my day’s total–until I cut corners and made a bad decision. I decided why not make my mom’s bars. What could really happen—I mean a cup of peanut butter spread out in a 9×9 pan should be ok, right?
Dead flat wrong.
The Hubs has been egging me on to be more transparent with you about “those accidents” I’ve mentioned, here and there. He’s been saying, you can’t ignore it. You need to say how bad it is so others can understand—that they or you aren’t alone. It’s part of living with diabetes.
“Accidents” for me is No Sugar Baker’s code for “holy crap” diarrhea. It’s downright embarrassing that a forty-six old independent woman NOW has “accidents” in bed, at hotels, in airports and I run to the bathroom praying the whole way I can make it. I’ve been defeated too many times to count.
The Folks hear about the major “accidents” but don’t realize the entire shitty situation. Thank God they haven’t said, “Oh wonderful—get yourself some wonderful Depends.” They have suggested repeatedly—you need to wear Depends, sleep with a towel, or as The Hubs has asked curiously, “Do you go to the bathroom before bed?” “Aw, no shit,” is what I want to say. Instead, I bite my tongue and smirk. They don’t get it. It feels like a punch in the gut every time they say it. Yes, I know their intentions are meant to help me, and save The Hubs from yet another “accident” clean-up.
I’m young, hip, healthy, romantic…..the last thing I want to do is wear a cute dress for an interview with a Depends underneath or crawl into bed with a nightie giving sexy glimpses of a Depends. Not really an attractive visual—is it?
I’ve been there. I’m right there with you. It sucks. It’s shitty. It’s my (our) new reality. The diabetic body triggers insulin and sugars out of it and rapidly fast. Truthfully, those ‘wonderful’ accidents happen weekly for me.
Back to the peanut butter bars. I made them with a popular brand of manufactured peanut butter. I ate one. I paid the price that night—so did The Hubs. He had the whole bed, mattress and mess cleaned up while I took a shower at 3 am. He’s never once complained about any accident. He’s seen the shittiest of the shittiest. The jar of peanut butter I used says sugar is the second ingredient. I was an idiot.
Recently, I was talking with neighborhood ladies. They genuinely seemed interested in the blog—questioning past recipes. One of those ladies was treated to a bar from a one of my usual taste testing neighbors who shared it with her. She asked me, nonchalantly, when is that peanut butter bar recipe coming out. It caught me off guard. How’d she know about that failed recipe? I got emotional. I wasn’t ready to write about them—quite yet. I continued with “I got sick” after eating one bar. I think they could see my defeat. A few of ladies suggested I try natural made peanut butter. The Folks agreed and encouraged me to give it a good ol’ Jones try.
The Hubs’ favorite food combination is chocolate meets peanut butter. When he saw in our grocery cart, the deli container of peanut butter, he gave me a “holy shit, you are kidding” look. I showed him the label. Not missing a beat—he said let’s get ingredients to try peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.
I ate one freshly baked cookie. Said a prayer and went to bed. Whew—-Safe!
I ate another one the next day. Said a prayer. Whew—Safe!
The Folks asked—how’d the new peanut butter work? I wrote back, “Wonderfully!”
We’re on a roll. Life is sweet.
All this made with LOVE,
Jayne (aka The No Sugar Baker!)
The No Sugar Baker’s Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Pecan Cookies
1 C. Butter
2 C. Swerve Brown
4 t. Vanilla (you might want more!)
1 C. Peanut Butter (I used a fresh, sugar free peanut butter, deli made)
1 1/2 C Flour
1 ¼ C Almond Flour
3 t. Baking Soda
1 t. Salt
1 Bag of Lily’s Dark Sugar Free Chocolate Chips
1 ½ C Chopped Pecans
In mixing bowl, combine butter and Swerve. Add eggs, vanilla, peanut butter and mix again. In separate small bowl, combine flours, soda and salt. Add to first mixture and combine well. Add in chocolate chips and pecans. The dough will be tougher than other cookie doughs. Make round balls and place on sprayed cookie sheet. Bake at 375 for 12-14 minutes, until light golden brown. They will look like mounds—that’s a good sign! Take out of oven and carefully flatten each cookie until desired thickness with the back of a spatula. Let cool. I enjoyed the cookies, the second day better than a fresh hot cookie!